This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday 25 May 2015

Pope Francis takes advice from Enda Kenny

Following the result of the Irish referendum on same-sex "marriage", and a powerful Tablet blog suggesting that this should make the Catholic Church rethink its (well, Christ's) ideas on sexuality, it was announced today that Pope Francis had appointed Enda ("Enda Life") Kenny as a special adviser on moral theology.

Pope and Enda

The Vatican's consultant gives his advice.

As a spokesman explained, "Pope Francis is a very busy man, and has made himself an expert on economics and climatology; it is too much to expect him to master theology as well. That is why he said nothing at all in the run-up to the Irish referendum, leaving the matter in the hands of known spiritual giants such as Diarmuid Martin, Donal McKeown, and, of course the Association of Catholic Priests.

In fact, Francis did condemn same-sex marriage a few months ago, but he was firmly told to "shut up, old man, and stick to moaning about polar bears falling off ice floes."

Peppy, the polar bear

Pope-y, the Fox's Mints polar bear.

Cardinal Kenny, to give him his new title, has lost no time in explaining the next steps in the social revolution that is to hit Ireland, and, as a result, the Catholic Church. "Abortion on demand, infanticide, euthanasia, eugenics, cannibalism, burning down all the churches, beheading all Catholics, ... these may appear to be controversial NOW, but give me another ten years and I can win a referendum in support of any of these modernizing policies! And where Ireland leads, the Pope must follow."

Meanwhile, St Patrick has quit as patron saint on Ireland, saying "Well, in the end the snakes won." Enda Kenny has been asked to recommend a new patron saint, but it seems likely that, being a modest man, he will simply take over the job himself.

stained-glass Enda

A stained glass window of St Enda.

7 comments:

  1. I'd like to see a return of the famous blog "Protect the Pope". One can still see its timepiece on the right of one's screen which gives the number of years, months, weeks, hours, seconds which have elapsed since End-a Life Kenny should have been excommunicated. Perhaps someone will come up with a blog which denotes the time elapsed since he should have been brought before the Inquisition.
    On second thoughts though, he might even be thinking of starting his own version in Ireland and calling it the Secular Inquisition in order to try the 32% of the people of Ireland who did not support his Secular Homology.

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    1. Archbishop Martin, Bishop McKeown and many other bishops and priests are also excommunicate and ought to be declared so. Their evil-doing is even greater than Kenny's. And all who voted for the imposition of egregious intrinsic evil posing as the "law" of Ireland.

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    2. Is there a pope to protect? There seems to be a symbolical inference here.

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    3. After his "dialogue" with the Bishop of Rome, at the Enda of it all Kenny stated that he felt shattered - and Eccles has the photographic evidence there to prove it.

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  2. My Irish great great grandparents moved across the pond due to starvation issues quite some years ago. The century before last it seems. So the family has lost much (Most? All?) the culture.

    This is why to my American eyes when I see his name I wonder why a man Would be named Edna...

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    Replies
    1. Well, Dame Edna Everage is a man...

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    2. Well I'll be...!

      I live a cloistered life.

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